12 Positive Affirmations for Health and Happiness

January 25, 2016 by Jerry Daskoski

Jerry Daskoski - affirmations The power of positive thinking has been covered in great detail on my blog and many others. We know that it works and the benefits of living in such a way that negative thoughts and actions no longer guide your daily life. What most people don’t know is how to begin that process. How does one simply wake up with positive thoughts, and a commitment to living life in a manner that is both a joy for yourself and those around you? The simple is answer is that type of life doesn’t simply happen overnight. Rather, the key to positive thinking and living is to train yourself to become that, just as we do with negative thoughts and all other factors which determine our experiences.

Such training is as simple as saying out loud the desires you have, or where you’d like to see yourself in your mind’s eye. Professionals and individuals in the positive living community call this act, affirming, and the words or sentences one says are called affirmations. Affirmations, said to yourself and repeated often, are wired into your subconscious and tell your mind what it should be feeling or doing. Just as people say “I’m never going to get this done,” or “Life is so unfair,” and then such becomes their reality, affirmations signal to the brain how you should live, act, and react, based on what you understand about yourself and about your future.

For those seeking health and happiness, the foundation of both principles are establishing positive thoughts about them. Simply put, what we tell ourselves, what we say on a daily basis are the way we control our thoughts, which control our behavior, which control our habits, which shape our lives. Thus, it’s important to make sure that what you’re telling your brain is positive and capable of bringing to fruition what you hope for yourself. Here are some to get you started:

My condition does not shape who I am
I am getting better and stronger daily
I am capable of doing anything
I attract only good things into my life
Nothing can bring me down
I wake up with a smile on my face
My body is working as it should
I have every reason to be joyful
I am in great health
I have no worries about the future
Everyone around will be filled with positivity
I am comfortable and confident in myself

For best results, you should write down your affirmations. You can do so in a journal, on your phone’s notes, or in a place in your home or office, to which you will have access. Secondly, you should set time aside to go over them. Many find it best to do so in the morning, as you are just waking up. Doing so can help set you up for the day and ensure that happiness and health are you number one priorties. It may also be helpful to repeat them at lunch, or to excuse yourself from your desk or workspace to go over them in case you begin feeling anything other that what you are training your mind to feel. Pretty soon, they will become second nature and you will be saying them, believing, and living them, and helping others do the same.

The Case for Mindfulness & Meditation for Seniors

January 22, 2016 by Jerry Daskoski

man-984062_960_720 Advances in healthcare have resulted in increased life expectancy for individuals in developed nations, like the United States. Yet, there are a spate of problems and physical illnesses which are exacerbated in old age. The body’s response to continued evolution and constant wear and tear begin to display in a number of ways, including weak bones or osteoporosis, issues with the heart, and a range of problems targeting the mind and memory loss. While medicines certainly help with many of these issues, there are ways to improve the quality of life without pharmaceuticals. Such options include mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation has existed for hundreds or even thousands of years, as a common practice by religious cultures in Far East countries. However, in the modern era, and in western practice, it has been used to address a range of ailments in the medical field, and studies have shown that both are effective, not only for mental health, but in physical, tangible ways as well.

In short, meditation is a process in which individuals focus on breathing, sounds, or positive thoughts, while causing the mind to become still and free of scattered thoughts. Likewise, mindfulness increases the level of awareness of a given moment, and leads the participant to concentrate only on what he/she is feeling, experiencing, or imagining. By doing so, individuals calm themselves, reduce stress and anxiety, and increase feelings of peace and calm, to better manage activities throughout the day.

Many people have expressed skepticism about both practices because mindfulness and meditation are thought to be a form of worship. However, despite being practiced by religious communities, the process themselves are not religious (not that doing so is a bad thing). Instead, meditation is simply about the participant, and what he/she chooses to bring to mind or let go of, for that matter.

Seniors can benefit from mindfulness meditation because it helps to exercise the mind and improve brain function. As humans reach late stages of maturity, the agility of the brain decreases. Meditation has been shown to increase gray matter in the brain. What that means is your ability to process information also grows, as does creativity and analytical skill. Essentially, it is a great way to keep the brain youthful and powerful: your very own fountain of youth.

Other physical benefits of meditation is lower blood pressure, improved heart health, and a lower risk of depression. Given that many of these issues lead to even more ailments, using mindfulness meditation as preventive medicine could significantly decrease the costs of health care for seniors. For those retired or nearing retirement, this helps keep down expenditures if you’re making due on a limited income.

Overall, mindfulness meditation should be considered because it improves mental and physical well-being, and maximize the joy of life in old age. Taking care of yourself should be a top priority. This is a start.

6 Effective Ways of Coping With Mental Illness

January 18, 2016 by Jerry Daskoski

pexels-photo-large Over a quarter of adults in the country, some 26.2 percent, suffer from some form of mental illness. The categories of such vary, but the realities of having a disorder can be challenging, especially for individuals who lack therapeutic resources and actionable measures with which to effectively manage disorder. Nevertheless, to live in a way that doesn’t harm yourself nor those around you, it’s extremely important to at least have some tools to build on and develop more stability in day-to-day activities. Here are some tools for coping with mental illness, listed in no particular order.

Know your triggers:
There are a number of things which drive individuals to anger, depression or anxiety. It can happen over and over again until those things which most set you off are identified and avoided, if possible. I say if possible because there is not always a way to manage the external influences which evoke reactions within us; however, for things, people, or places that are known to be and have been perpetually problematic, it’s a good rule not to engage in those activities or with those people. Likewise, for family members assisting someone with a mental disability, take precautions for them and keep them from circumstances which may do them harm.

Communicate with someone you trust:
Simply talking over problems is such a great help. Yet, it’s important to do so with someone whom you know won’t judge you nor interrupt your thoughts with suggestions or reasons why what you’re feeling is “wrong.” This person in whom you confide should be a friend, family, or medical health professional, invested in your wellbeing and more than comfortable with hearing you out. You will be surprised with how much better you feel after being able to share your concerns, issues, or problems with someone else.

Keep a journal:
Nevertheless, there are instances in which no one is around or you may not feel like sharing. That’s ok, too. Journaling allows you to exercise those same communication skills and even provides the benefit of being able to look back and analyze and/or compare various moments. It can also be useful for when you do chat with your confidant at a future time, to provide them with insight about your experiences.

Join a support group:
Also, it doesn’t hurt to be a part of a group of people which share your problems or those similar to yours. Knowing that you are not alone, that what you deal with isn’t anomaly or something which you must manage alone is a great relief and can have a large impact on the way you manage yourself going forward.

Invest time in something constructive:
Another way to really takes one’s mind off of concerns is to do something constructive which requires focus and engagement. Studies have found that things activities like puzzles, video games, or even adult coloring books are helpful in managing behavior related to mental illness. Also, reading or crafts are highly encouraged. Plus, you’ve made something beautiful or learned something in the meantime. It’s a win-win. Keeping a few options at your disposal as not to grow weary of one particular thing to the point where it lacks enjoyment is recommended.

Meditation:
Spending time alone, meditating is a great tool for coping. Not only will the practice enable you to relax and ease your thoughts, repeated enough, you will be able to do it even in the midst of the most stressful situations, to further manage reactions and responses. Even those who don’t suffer from a disability enjoy meditation because it makes things so much more peaceful.

These are just a few examples of things everyone can do to better cope with the issues which life throws our way. Living with mental illness isn’t easy. However, there are things we can do to improve our experiences and quality of life overall.

Follow Jerry Daskoski on Twitter

The Power of Positive Thinking: 5 Easy Tips to Beat Back Negativity

October 6, 2015 by Jerry Daskoski

Positive thinking is an effective mental strategy to mitigate the unpleasant impacts of stress on your physical and emotional health. Studies indicate that where you fall on a scale between total optimism and complete pessimism correlates strongly to a number of other key facets of your life. In fact, effective stress management has been proven to be closely associated with a number of tangible benefits to your health. This kind of positive mindset involves much more than simply ignoring the more difficult aspects of daily challenges or willfully refusing to acknowledge when life is unpleasant. Instead, reconsider your definition of positive thinking and understand that it involves engaging with these unpleasant moments in a more productive manner. Insist on what you have the power to impact and trying to make the best happen, rather than allowing your dread of the worst that could transpire exhaust your capacity to think about the scenario at hand.

Fortunately, even for those of us who may currently be more comfortable seeing the proverbial glass as half empty rather than half full, many positive habits can be learned.

Talk to Yourself

Self-talk is an excellent way to build the right positive mental reflexes to appropriately respond to stressful situations as they arise. This constant stream of consciousness fills your head throughout the day, so take control of its tone and leverage it to your benefit. Some self-talk is based in reason and other aspects may be born from misunderstanding, fear, or nervousness. Be cognizant of your self-talk and whenever you notice the way in which you are thinking to yourself is less supportive or empowering than how you might encourage a loved one or friend in a situation similar to yours, make a change.

Meditation Matters

As technology and modern society become more deeply intertwined, it can be easy to observe that work and personal life are increasingly one and the same. The decreasing ability for many people to compartmentalize the various stressors in their lives may well compound individual issues and magnify what would otherwise be a small problem into an intimidatingly large source of unhappiness. As such, it is crucial to make time to clear your mind and focus on your own inner peace. The explosion in popularity of meditation and activities like yoga that is currently been happening parallel to the aforementioned tangling of work and personal life is probably not purely coincidental across the board. Habits like meditation teach valuable stress management skills like active breathing and staying present the moment, alleviating the unnecessary weight of worrying about difficulties that may or may not be coming down the line.

Feed Off Others

There is a relatively popular saying, which is that we are “the sum of the people with which we surround ourselves.” Such an adage is inherently problematic to a certain extent, and it is fair to acknowledge that. Not everyone is as easily influenced by their peers as others. However, humans are absolutely social creatures. As a result, we can very much metaphorically feed off the level of enthusiasm, energy, and different outlooks of the people with whom we spend time. Surround yourself with positive people you can trust and with whom you would be comfortable speaking when you find your negative thinking difficult to disrupt. A great conversation with the right person can very much put your problems into much better perspective.

Refuse to Play the Victim

One of the most important life skills to master is the ability to clearly, confidently, and comfortably recognize what you can and cannot control. This allows you to appropriately take responsibility for your own actions, while enabling your to avoid worrying about things which are not worth your concern since you cannot affect the outcome one way or another. You may be surprised at times with just how much you have the power to change. Always refuse to just let things happen to you. Asset-based thinking means approaching every situation focused on what you can improve and then spending your energy on doing exactly that, rather than expending it on worrying needlessly about what you cannot impact. Although victimhood is a comfy mindset since it absolves you of hard work, it simply is not the most productive or positive way to go about your life. Recognize your own potential and spring into action.

Don’t Forget to Smile

Something as simple as smiling can make a huge difference in your day-to-day activities! It is well documented that it takes less muscles to smile than to frown, but beyond that simple fact, it also has the potential to influence the way in which others interact with you. Even if the smile does not exactly reflect your current emotional state, the positive way in which others respond to your apparent happiness is very likely to turn your day around. Before you know it, that smile will be sincere!

Positivity Is Powerful

Modern research has linked positive thinking and the associated decreased stress levels to a number of incredible health benefits. These include increased life span, lower rates of depression, reduced risk from cardiovascular disease, a greater resistance to illness like the common cold, and better coping skills during hardship. Embrace a better lifestyle by taking the first steps to change the way in which you think about your life. One day, you are sure to be positively ecstatic that you did.

Six Ways to Say Goodbye to Stress

August 3, 2015 by Jerry Daskoski

Just by virtue of being alive, you will find yourself confronted with stress. It is inevitable. A defining aspect of the human experience is to care, but for every instance in which you emotionally invest, there is the chance, however small it may be, that something might go awry. As ubiquitous as that situation maybe, it is a rare individual who truly and completely handles the stresses of life with total ease. Learning to manage the hurdles that come your way are is an essential component of a happy adult’s skillset. Fortunately, there are several ways in which you can push yourself to better engage with stress when you are confronted with it. Although some of these tips may be more easily adopted by you than others, all offer insight into how you can live a happier, less stressful life.

Identify the Source

The first step to solving any problem is to recognize there is one. The second should be to find its root. Much like a gardner’s approach to weeds run amok in a yard, if you only focus on attacking the visible symptoms of your stress without addressing the underlying cause or causes, little sustainable progress can occur. It may well feel like the stress is coming from every possible direction, which can be overwhelming. You might even find yourself ascribing to the old aphorism, “when it rains, it pours.” However, an honest investigation of the situation at hand is likely to reveal that the real aggravation boils down to at most one or two truly pressing issues that is metaphorically poisoning the other facets of your day-to-day duties. Take time to really get to the bottom of this. Pinpointing the causal stressor is a critical step in organizing your thoughts and taking real action to resolve the problem.

Make Peace with Your Locus of Control

One of the most humbling experience of getting older is realizing that although you have remarkable agency in this world, there is only so much of it that can actually bend to your will. Regardless of your intentions or efforts, there will always be much that is beyond what you can impact or influence. Depending on your situation, this limitation will vary, but identifying and making peace with it is crucial. It is upsetting and unproductive to spend your time stressed about what is not in your power to change.

What is always in your power to change, you may wonder? The way you react to challenges is. Instead of wasting your mental capacity by focusing on what is outside your ability to improve or solve, dedicate those efforts to stressors you can control. Do not hold yourself to impossible standards by demanding you do everything to fix a situation, or your stress will flourish unabated. Instead, hold yourself accountable to doing everything in your power. That small but incredibly important distinction can move you forwards to a healthier state of mind, and allow you to feel empowered and invigorated.

Make Time Your Friend

One of the most common sources of stress in people’s life is a lack of time. It often seems that as to-do lists grow, time just slips away. Take a moment to step back from the apparently insurmountable projects that are stressing you out and reconsider your perspective. Everyone in the world is working within the same 168 hour time frame. Logistically speaking, the fact is that many of people are able to accomplish at least as much as you need to do, all while getting enough sleep and living satisfying lives. Review your schedule and critically analyze where you are losing so much time. It may be as simple as learning more about how long tasks take you to complete, or being generally more cognizant of how you use your time between tasks. It is not uncommon for people to find they waste much more time on their phones or distracted online than they expect. Make it a priority to time yourself, so you can be armed with the information you need to manage your time better. Once you have a good idea of how spend your day, you can plan for how you should spend your day, and then execute that plan.

Trim the Fat

In learning more about how you spend your day, you will also likely notice you not only spend longer than you need to on certain tasks, but there are things you do that are completely unnecessary for you to have a happy and/or productive day. Simply put, you may be spreading yourself far too thin, which does not ultimately serve anyone’s greatest benefit if it is causing you stress. Weigh all of your daily activities and seriously evaluate if they not only cater to your goals and values, but also give you meaning or make you happy. For individuals predisposed to being busybodies or over-achievers, it can be difficult to accept that you cannot do everything. However, selecting a smaller number of activities and having the time to not only excel at them, but enjoy them, is a much more rewarding way to approach your life.

Know the word “No”

As an intensely social species, human beings love to collaborate and communicate. It is just part of our biology. We generally derive great joy from being able to work together, which is how we can accomplish feats much greater than we ever could alone. A real sense of pride comes from working well in a team. However, this means that it can be very difficult sometimes to say, “no.” For a people-pleaser or otherwise committed team player, the idea of refusing a request can feel akin to abandoning the other party or letting them down. However, taking on more than you can handle never serves you in the long-term. As a result, it diminishes your ability to positively contribute to a larger, combined effort beyond the issue immediately at hand. So, while you may be able to bend over backwards today, the increasing amount of stress is likely to handicap your ability to serve the greater good tomorrow. It may be an initially uncomfortable skill to develop initially, but learning to protect your boundaries and be defensive of your time is highly beneficial to decreasing avoidable stress and increasing your overall happiness.

Care, Don’t Worry

One of the best ways to fight stress is to just be aware of it. Similar to appreciating what you can and cannot impact, the way in which you frame the stressor in your brain can make a huge difference. It is great to care about the things with which you fill your day. However, worrying is nowhere near as productive. Worrying is when you try your hardest to control or impact the future just by thinking about it. This is, of course, impossible. Caring is defined by taking whatever action we can to support the best interests of a person or thing. Worrying is useless and will not result in change. So, make the decision to care and take action.

Treating Anxiety

July 20, 2015 by Jerry Daskoski

Anxiety–what is it?

It’s a feeling of worry, of nervousness or unease, most likely in regards to an imminent event, or something out of your own control. Often associated with panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, unrelenting worries, and incapacitating phobias, approximately 40 million Americans aged 18 and older suffer from anxiety disorders.

Myriad therapies cater to the needs of those experiencing anxiety, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy, giving those who suffer the tools to manage anxiety and stress levels, worrisome thoughts, and debilitating fears.

Therapy vs. Medication

Anxiety medication, though widely prescribed, isn’t nearly as effective as anxiety-targeted therapy. This is because therapy, unlike medication, addresses more than just the current symptoms presenting themselves. With therapy, you’re able to uncover underlying causes of your anxieties and fears and find the best tools to manage them in real-world situations.

Because anxiety disorders differentiate vastly, from a driver’s phobia of bridges to a war veteran experiencing PTSD, therapy can be tailored specifically to fit your symptoms as well as your individual needs. The most popular courses of treatment are cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy, and are relatively short-term, with people showing significant improvement after 8 to 10 sessions, according to the American Psychological Association.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

The most widely-used course of treatment for anxiety disorders, it has proven effective in helping those suffering from panic disorder, phobias, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, among others.

Addressing negative patterns and distortions in the way we view ourselves and the world around us, CBT involves two main components: cognitive therapy and behavior therapy. The first examines the relationship between negative thoughts and anxiety, while the latter examines how behaviors and reactions to situations trigger anxiety.

Exercises associated with CBT often involve: learning to recognize your own anxiety and what it feels like both emotionally and physically, adopting coping skills and relaxation techniques to cope with and overcome feelings of anxiety and panic, and confronting real and/or imaginary fears.

Exposure therapy

Experiencing feelings of anxiety is no walk in the park. In fact, for some, it’s completely debilitating. It’s only natural that those who experience it try to avoid triggers as much as humanly possible.

The problem there is that people tend to miss out on a lot, and by avoiding these triggers of anxiety and fear, they remain unconfronted, thus holding power over you and your everyday life.

Exposure therapy does exactly what the name suggests: exposes you to the cause of your fear, whether it be an object or situation. The rationale behind the treatment is that through repeated exposure, participants will gain back control and the power their anxiety and fear once held. Exposure therapy can be conducted on its own, or in collaboration with cognitive behavioral therapy.

These confrontations can happen either hypothetically, in therapy, or out in the real world. Typically, these confrontations start on a small scale step-by-step approach called systematic desensitization, which allows you to gradually challenge fears while building confidence and mastering coping strategies.

Other therapies

While discovering underlying factors and coping mechanisms in anxiety therapy, there are complimentary therapies to help manage overall stress levels you can practice in order to help achieve emotional balance:

Exercise naturally releases hormones that combat stress and anxiety, and research has shown that as little as 30 minutes of exercise three to five times per week has a significant impact on improving anxiety levels.

Practicing relaxation techniques (like mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, controlled breathing and visualization) on a regular basis is shown to reduce anxiety and increase levels of relaxation and emotional well-being. It doesn’t hurt that it’s also completely free.

Using sensors that measure specific physiological functions, otherwise known as biofeedback, helps you become more in-tune with how stress and anxiety affects your body, how to recognize it, and control it. Heart rate, breathing, and muscle tension are just some of the physical indicators.

Make it work for you

Anxiety and stress doesn’t go away in a day, it requires time and commitment. Practicing exposure therapy and uncovering underlying causes of your anxiety might make you feel worse before you feel better, but it’s key to stick to your treatment and work together with your therapist. Remember, therapy is giving you tools to manage your anxiety and fears on a long-term scale; it’s not meant to be a quick fix.

You can support your own therapy by making positive, healthy lifestyle choices daily. This includes learning about anxiety and your anxiety in particular, maintaining positive connections with people (family, friends, your therapist, support-groups, etc.), as well as eating healthy and exercising regularly.

10 Mindful Habits for the Work Place

June 2, 2015 by Jerry Daskoski

Here are 10 Mindful Habits that Will Make Your work-flow more productive

Recently mindfulness has become increasingly popular amongst various professions, executives and age groups. Mindfulness mediation has been proven to increase memory, awareness and reduce the impact that negative thinking can have on your mind and body.

Mindfulness doesn’t always consist of committing to some sort of Transcendental meditation group or signing up for a yearly membership at your local yoga studio. There are plenty of simple daily habits that you can engage in in order to make you more productive and happier at work.

Here are 10 Easy Practices from Shamash Alidina and Juliet Adams new book “Mindfulness at Work for Dummies”